Lately, I have been thinking about being too bossy. How do I treat my husband? How do I treat my daughter? I tend to confuse getting stuff done with the notion that it gives me a right to be bossy. Both God and my husband pointed out that getting people to help you doesn’t mean you try to control them.
When Lamont and I were newly married I assumed that he would just do what I told him to do. When he refused I would become angry and wonder why he wasn’t helping me. Now that I look back I realize that I wasn’t treating my spouse like a human being. Being nice goes a long way with your family. Saying please and thank you is just as important for adults as it is for children. I learned that of course my husband wants to help me, but he wants to be treated with respect.
What surprised me is that if I gave my husband a chance he would help me on his own. He didn’t need me to tell him what to do. Giving him the opportunity to ask is important. We work better as a team when we treat each other with respect and love.
Husbands need breaks too. I know, we moms need breaks, but so do dads. If you’re a team you will recognize that each team member needs time to unwind. That includes children in the family. Chores are important, but sometimes being willing to let things go now and then is important, too.
Children learn by example. Do I want my daughter to believe that Moms have the right to be bossy and Dads should just blindly obey? That Dad’s should be bossy and Mom’s should just obey?
She needs to see my husband and me as a team. She needs to see us working together and respecting each other in the process.
Treating my daughter the same way is important, too. Yes, children need guidance and discipline, but spending all day telling her what to do isn’t normal. They need to learn the joy of helping each other out, being part of a family, and the joy that comes with doing something for someone even when they don’t ask for help.
This is just an issue God has brought up with me. I still struggle. There are times I must remind myself of everything I just wrote above. My goal is that my husband, my daughter, and I will be a wonderful team and a loving family together!